Austadiums Forum

Went to Melbourne for the weekend

A city with high civic pride - but a bit of a dump

Mmm I was in Melbourne over the weekend as well.

bazza wrote:Went to Melbourne for the weekend

A city with high civic pride - but a bit of a dump

The feeling's absolutely mutual.

cam wrote:

bazza wrote:Went to Melbourne for the weekend

A city with high civic pride - but a bit of a dump

The feeling's absolutely mutual.

So you have visited Melbourne recently.

Haha.

I was in Melbourne during the Boxing Day Test. Stayed in North Melbourne for the first time. Loads cheaper and still quite close to town. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a Brazilian BBQ place open on the night of Boxing Day. Pretty disappointing. I settled for Korean BBQ, which I'd never tried before. Very good.

I'm probably going to return in March or April. Has anyone been to Phillip Island for the penguin tours? Any suggestions?

I've come from a holiday in my bedroom.

Don't be to hard on yourself.

Went to Adelaide for BDO. Saw Tool live. Very happy.

F'N AWSOME

I went to Nuxland for a week...

Jeffles, come to Adelaide in April instead of Melbourne. I'm going for grad ceremony.

Jeffles wrote: I'm probably going to return in March or April. Has anyone been to Phillip Island for the penguin tours? Any suggestions?

Took the missus there when I was back in town in December, as well as the MCG and MRS. Pay the extra for Penguins Plus. Much better viewing.

For Austadiums love of all things Adelaide...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bus tour that's a bloody ripper

THROUGH no fault of my own I found myself in Adelaide after the Indian Pacific followed the tracks into the sleepy capital, taking me with it. With a couple of hours to kill, a few of us joined a city bus tour.

The tour began normally enough. ''Welcome to Adelaide etc; great to have you aboard yada yada; prettiest city in the world blah blah blah.'' All the normal, if slightly jingoistic, stuff. But it wasn't long before our driver, let's call him Alan, let fly.

''If we can just get through this one roundabout, we'll come to … no, we have to wait for this jerk driving the Volvo. Adelaide drivers are the worst in the world. They can't handle roundabouts and the bloody government won't cut down any trees to fix the traffic flow. It's typical bloody Adelaide, unfortunately.''
Advertisement: Story continues below

We stiffened in our seats, like you did when your teacher got angry at school, suddenly transfixed by Alan's unusual commentary. As bus tours go, this was shaping up as a ripper. He continued: ''Adelaide's traffic lights are set up to maximise petrol consumption and tax. We all just exist to generate money for the government. We used to have lovely trams along here. Getting rid of them was really stupid and these deciduous trees they planted cause flooding every time it rains. Typical bloody Adelaide, unfortunately.''

Passengers swapped nervous smiles as Alan shifted seamlessly between lavish praise and withering invective. It became clear he loved his city and was annoyed by governments buggering it all up.

''They take years to do anything and when they do they stuff it up. Bluestone is the only building material worth using and landfill rubbish is stupid. Now, over to the left you can see one of our beautiful churches but don't get married there - the council fees are a rip-off. They had to move the cross because the ladies kept reversing into it.''

This was too much for one passenger. ''Just ladies, was it? No men? Or Asians? Or other minorities?'' she asked.

Alan seemed to sense he had gone too far and waded back into his description of the city of churches, pointing out a few places of worship where the crosses were still standing. ''This street has lovely terraces. It used to have a different name. It was better back then. The nomenclature of the streets these days is stupid. Nearly as stupid as the traffic laws,'' he added as he gave another driver the finger. ''Oh, and don't look over there - that's the sleaze street.'' Cameras clicked furiously.

Along the way, we learnt about the unnecessary renovation of Adelaide Oval, the bogans' invasion of Rundle Mall, and the obscene wealth among the leafier streets of East Adelaide. As the bus passed Colonel Light's lookout we were less than shocked to learn that Alan was upset with the $30 million spent on the polar bear enclosure at the zoo.

''The parklands to our right are home to the Clipsal 500, which is the greatest event in Australia,'' said Alan, as we headed back to the train. We held our collective breath for the sting in the tail but were disappointed. Despite the tame ending we would all recommend the Typical Bloody Adelaide Unfortunately Tour.

http://www.smh.com.au/travel/a-bus-tour ... 1bif8.html

As a former Adelaide bus driver I'm quite impressed by his restraint.

I read that article yesterday and immediately thought of yob

The thing with this guy that intrigues me is that he must be well and truly building toward something. You see, being an Adelaide bus driver is something out of this world (obviously, being Adelaide). You cop it left right and centre all day long. You get spat on, hit, things thrown at you, wrestled out of the seat while you're driving, molotov cocktails shot at you on the obahn (fact), you name it. Most drivers just do the passive aggressive stuff to deal with it. Throttle the accelerator to 'help' you in to your seat. Pull in to the stop just so the bus shelter is in your way trying to get off. Closing the door on your school bag and pretending to pull away with you dangling off the side of the bus. If this guy is taking it to the people with his microphone he's probably lost it by now