What would yob recommend in Melbourne besides "the road out of there"?
He would be more specific - Highway 8, not Highway 31.
Just for Cheesie, my first recommendation is a tour of Trades Hall, the magnificent 19th century HQ of the ACTU. Followed, of course, by a tram ride to the Arts Precinct in St Kilda Rd, where he's sure to see hordes of elites - sorry, but no G&S on offer that weekend!!
Free tour of Parliament House as an alternative.
OK, if the above doesn't really appeal, a tram trip down to St Kilda Rd to ... St Kilda (naturally) and check out Akland St (Sunday if possible). Also try to fit in Brunswick St, Fitzroy and/or Lygon St, Carlton if time allows. If you bring a girl friend (which I assume you won't be), she will demand Chapel St, Sth Yarra.
Check out some of the off-street laneways in the city precinct bound by Bourke, Swanston, Flinders and Elizabeth Sts. Recently renovated War Memorial in St Kilda Rd may be of interest.
Good inner city sports pubs (though better during the footy (AFL) season for pre or post match atmosphere) -
Rose Hotel, Napier St, Fitzroy
Napier Hotel, 210 Napier St, Fitzroy
Union Club Hotel, 146 Gore St, Fitzroy
Percy's Bar (Astor Hotel), 481 Lygon St, Carlton,
Curry Family Hotel, 289 Wellington St, Collingwood
The Tote, Johnston St, 71 Collingwood
Cricketers Arms Hotel, 327 Punt Rd, Richmond
Great Britain Hotel, 447 Church St, Richmond
Holliave, 36 Swan St, Richmond
Richmond Club Hotel, 100 Swan St, Richmond
Royal Hotel, 287 Punt Rd,Richmond
Swan Hotel, Richmond, 425 Church St, Richmond
Maori Chief Hotel, 117 Moray St, Sth Melbourne,
Duke of Wellington, 146 Flinders St, City
Charles Dickens Tavern, 290 Collins St, City
Cricketers Bar, Windsor Hotel, 111 Spring St, City
Station Hotel, 96 Greville St, Prahran.