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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 7:49 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 14, 2010 7:23 pm
Posts: 1
Simmo79 wrote:
I think we need a thread for all the funny shite we find elsewhere. I'll start with something off my favourite other forum ->Drunken reminders - read and reminisce!

http://forum.football365.com/index.php? ... 0&count=40


Quote:
266. The reason "I was describing the correct term for a single grain of salt" will not stop the police from giving you a lecture for shouting "ASSAULT!" at the top of your voice.

267. The police will not fall for it if you walk over to them whilst they are talking to your mate and say he is your client and that you will have them tied up in lawsuits if they persist.

268. When drunkenly trying to get into your home with your keys and a policeman asks "is this your house?" Do not reply that you are in fact the worlds most cunning and daring burglar. He will not find it quite as amusing as you. He will tell you off. You may cry.

269. Aviod the police when drunk.

I also think so.


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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:42 pm 
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Not only is the post relevant to the thread - being random and off the net, it's also relevant to the post it replies to.

Like, how fukn close are we to Judgement Day?!

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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:48 pm 
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Location: auckland
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmXGEplv ... r_embedded

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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:31 pm 
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Posts: 16819
Location: Mandurah
http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/western ... 5935023248

Glad a prick has been charged...

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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:49 am 
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Location: Qbn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGMTm3QRwEc

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My name is Dr. Worm.
Good morning. How are you? I'm Dr. Worm.
I'm interested in things.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm.
I live like a worm.
I like to play the drums.


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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:43 pm 
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Location: The Jet Set Lounge - Henson Park
The NT News again. Great headline.

http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2010/1 ... tnews.html

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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:37 pm 
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I have the NT news in my bookmarks.

Fact.

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I'm not a real doctor,
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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 8:07 pm 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLdV1obg ... r_embedded

Two words:

JET PACK!

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My name is Dr. Worm.
Good morning. How are you? I'm Dr. Worm.
I'm interested in things.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm.
I live like a worm.
I like to play the drums.


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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:36 am 
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This is a 2 minute spectacular!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS5mVoqJpUk

"pardon me. coughing fit."

_________________
My name is Dr. Worm.
Good morning. How are you? I'm Dr. Worm.
I'm interested in things.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm.
I live like a worm.
I like to play the drums.


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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 12:24 pm 
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Location: Qbn
http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/sex-shop- ... 6043542628

The talk back!

_________________
My name is Dr. Worm.
Good morning. How are you? I'm Dr. Worm.
I'm interested in things.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm.
I live like a worm.
I like to play the drums.


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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 8:19 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:26 pm
Posts: 2770
Location: Goin berko @ Erko
Quote:
GOLDSBORO, NC—Friends, classmates, and loved ones gathered last night at a memorial service in the Westside High School gymnasium to celebrate the life of 17-year-old Brooke Belzer, who, before she died tragically in a car accident last week, was beloved for her bright personality and for giving easily the best hand jobs in the school.
The untimely passing of Belzer, whom mourners remembered as a smart, accommodating teen who loved to laugh, watch movies with friends, and bring male friends to sexual climax with her hand, has left many in the Goldsboro community in a state of shock.
"I can't believe she's gone," said Brian Jennings, a longtime classmate and neighbor. "It's just so shocking to think that someone as vibrant and full of life as Brooke is gone, and I'll never see her again. How can that be?"
Added Jennings, "She just rubbed me off in the Hardee's parking lot last week."
Belzer, a passenger in the single-car accident, was killed when driver Keith Foley, who survived the wreck with only minor injuries, became distracted and lost control of the vehicle. Belzer was not wearing a seat belt at the time.
Classmates said the field hockey team member was very well-liked by her fellow students, who greatly enjoyed Belzer's goofy sense of humor, her habit of keeping moisturizer in her purse, and her carefree attitude.
One of Belzer's oldest and dearest friends, Peter Destasio, delivered a poignant eulogy at Belzer's memorial service in which he sought to pay tribute to a young woman who was needlessly cut down in the prime of her jerking years.
"She was more than just a girl who gave awesome hand jobs," said Destasio, who has known Belzer since before she started using both hands. "She was someone who was really eager to learn new things. And she wouldn't even get mad if you accidently ruined her sweater. In fact, she actually thought that was kind of funny, and looking back on it, I guess it was."
"But it was her care and attention to detail I'll miss most," Destasio continued. "She really took her time and didn't seem to simply want to get it over with like most girls. Fantastic wrist action. Not too fast, not too rough. Just right."
Destasio then became overcome with emotion and was unable to continue.
"She just had a smile for everyone," said junior Douglas Keck, who added that his most cherished memory of Belzer was probably the time they shared behind the bleachers right after last year's powder-puff game. "And to think how much more she had left to give."
Continued Keck, "In another six months she would have probably started to use her mouth."
Those who had known Belzer since she first began giving tug jobs in eighth grade said they will miss watching her grow into a mature young woman with an increasingly impressive repertoire of stroking techniques.
Counselors have been brought in to the school to aid any students who are having trouble coping with the unexpected death of a figure popular in the halls and senior parking lot of Westside High.
"There is a real sense of loss here," said Sharon Hyerblick, a former English teacher of Belzer's. "A lot of these kids wish they had spent more time with Brooke while she was alive. I would say the timid freshmen who never even had the chance to receive a handie from Brooke are taking this especially hard."
As he seeks to soothe the wounded hearts of his school's students and faculty, Principal Franklin Jones told reporters this week that he hopes the entire Westside High community keeps a memory in their hearts of the talented young girl who seemed to light up the faces of all the boys in the room wherever she would go.
"In her brief time on this earth Brooke touched so many," Jones said. "She gave so freely of herself and her skills and I'm sure she will be remembered fondly for the rest of our lives. It's just a shame that this tragedy happened so close to prom."


http://www.theonion.com/articles/dead-teenager-remembered-for-great-hand-jobs,19356/

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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 4:07 pm 
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Location: Canberra, at work, wasting your tax dollars...
the article and comments are too bloody funny

http://www.galacticempiretimes.com/2011 ... illed.html

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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 11:28 am 
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This is excellent:

http://fanchants.com/

Footy songs and chants lyrics and audio. For every poor sod who wanted to join in but didn't know the words.

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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 11:40 am 
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Location: The Jet Set Lounge - Henson Park
Tick. That's me!

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 Post subject: Re: Random Stuff off the 'Net
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 12:17 pm 
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It's pretty comprehensive but the A-League and AFL have been mixed up a lot.

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